Artistic Expression
Posted on April 29, 2019
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I’ve always loved the arts. As a child, some of my earliest memories were of singing in the car to predominantly 70s, 80s and 90s music with my brother and father on the way to school every morning and around the house every evening. However, during this time, I had never actually taken it into my own hands and tried creating music, whether it was my own or of others.
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This was soon to change. In third grade, my family decided to hire a music teacher. I was excited but was much less so when I was told that all of the songs I learned had to be in Bangla, the language of the country I was in, which was Bangladesh. I was discouraged and nervous because I didn’t really know how to speak Bangla, much less sing in Bangla. However, my grandmother told me that learning songs in Bangla would improve my Bangla vocabulary, my singing voice, and help me to better understand Eastern music and the country in which I live. This convinced me, and I proceeded to learn as much as I could about music. I started out with a book with several exercises involving scales, short songs, etc. At the end of the book, there were two iconic Bangla songs. The first was the national anthem, Amar Shonar Bangla. The second was not the national anthem, but it was something quite close to that, called Dhono Dhanno Pushpo Bhora. These two songs are very well known in Bangladesh. In fact, you’d have a hard time finding a Bangladeshi person who doesn’t know one or both. This was a leap for what I was learning, but it also served as something symbolic for me. It was a leap forward in my knowledge and understanding of Bangladesh as a country. Not only did I pick up the songs rather quickly, but I also began to understand the words. From then, my learning upgraded to full raags, which are basically South Asian songs complete with a separate melody, scales, between 4 – 20 other 4-bar melodies that fit with the chorus, and the list kept growing longer as I progressed.
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In school, my music was very different. I made a habit of performing in the musical every year, which was new for me. I never got background roles and always had lines, but I didn’t get main roles. This didn’t have any effect on me and I did this all the way until the end of primary school. I also joined the choir because I really did love singing, and decided to do it as much as I could. All of these musical styles and techniques were all coexisting in my life, and slowly they began to bleed together. I noticed myself using trills and ghost notes in choir, using dynamics in Eastern music, and the like. This upset me, as I thought I was ruining the separate genres by combining them. However, then, I got a solo in choir by using Eastern techniques. This showed me that maybe combining these styles gave me my own unique style that didn’t ruin any of those genres. Encouraged by this, I began trying harder to incorporate music into my life.
A year after this, we were given a choice of elective, one of which was band. I decided to give it a shot. The first thing we did was experiment with different instruments to choose the ones we enjoyed playing the most and stick with them for the time that we took the elective. I tried brass, percussion, woodwinds and so many more, but only one instrument caught my eye, the clarinet. Maybe it was the clarinet’s versatility, its beautiful timbre or the fact that it was the only instrument that could fit in a locker attracted me. In any case, I chose the clarinet and began to learn it with all of my heart and soul. I am a fast learner, especially with instruments, so I began to pick it up very quickly. Even for me, though, there were some gaps that were difficult to jump. We were playing songs which only went up to a B flat but went down to an E (the lowest note a clarinet can play) and I found those quite easy. However, after the October holiday that year, we got a new song, Don’t Stop Believin’, which went up to a G and was a full octave higher than anything else we’d ever played. In our first rehearsal, we could only play about 5 percent of the piece as we didn’t even know how to play the high notes. I wasn’t sure how to make this jump, so I sat down with a familiar instrument, my harmonium. I tried to play my piece on the harmonium but learned the hard way that clarinet notes are transposed one whole step above a piano. After an hour and a lot of Google searches, I had written down the transposed music and proceeded to figure out what it sounded like so that I could match. I don’t remember every detail, but I know it was actually very difficult. This, however, motivated me and I came back to the next class with the piece learned and memorized. For me, new music and challenges were exhilarating, and I was improving so fast, my teacher suggested I also try to pick up another instrument. I began taking home a flute and learning it in my free time. It became easier and easier to learn new music, and by the end of the year, I was invited to the jazz band, for the very best musicians in band.
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However, after that, I had to leave that school. In my next, the only music exposure I could get were some clarinet lessons and a music class. In the music class, the only thing I really did was compose a protest song, complete with drum, piano and vocal parts, choral harmonies and rap. I was really proud of it and ended up getting an 8 for it, which was quite exhilarating. However, in the clarinet lessons, I learned a lot. In band, it was all about hitting the notes and making my part sound good. Without a band, the timbre, the rhythm, the tonguing and other parts of the technique are suddenly much more important. I had to learn to adapt to this and make my pieces as suited to their genres as possible. However, during this time at this school, I never focused on my singing.
When I left that school and came to NIST, my first music class involved me singing “Hey Jude” by the Beatles, which is one of my favorite bands. I was surprised to see that I had retained most of my technique and style, and I was invited into the choir. I began to also participate in plays again, which reignited an extinguished fire I had. After a year performing and learning in a ridiculous number of performances, I decided that it was time for me to branch out. I decided to take drama instead, theorizing that my love for musical performance and theater could be reflected in this class. I ended up being right. My class is exhilarating, and I am currently a director of a one-act play, which is an adventure the like of which I have never experienced before. I hadn’t even been in the class for a semester, and I already dared to try directing. I was and still am nervous, but a little hard work and creativity on my part as well as on the parts of my cast have really helped pull this performance together. What was really amazing was seeing all of the work that goes into a show. I was working tirelessly finding props, fixing scripts, watching videos of rehearsals to find issues and problems. The most amazing thing to me was the fact that the majority of these things came naturally to me. I didn’t have to be told how I could do things, I would figure it out on my own.
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A little later, I slightly regretted leaving music behind completely. My family suggested I take singing lessons to keep my passion for singing going. I happily agreed and began the lessons. My teacher determined that I had a special aptitude for opera and rock songs, both of which are genres I enjoy and find fascinating. I began working on these songs. It was different for me because no matter how much I had sung in the past, I had never really sung on my own. My technique changed, my style changed. About five lessons in, my teacher told me that the Instrumental Music section had decided to put on a performance of Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin, which is one of my favorite songs of all time. I got excited and decided to audition for lead singer. Of course, the terror set in again. Who was I to try and get lead singer with only five lessons under my belt when some of these people have worked for years? How do I know I’m as good as or better than them? Mr. Josh was really helpful, helping me calm my nerves and perform as well as I could despite me shaking uncontrollably. I actually ended up getting lead singer. When my friends asked me what I auditioned with, I responded with, “Stairway to Heaven. Duh. First off, if you are going to be auditioning for a rock song, you have to sing rock. Secondly, you have to respect the song and sing it for the audition. I heard some kids auditioning with pop and I was slightly confused, because why?” I realized that time hadn’t dwindled how much I still cared for all of the music that had started this journey, and it never would.
Today, I’m not far from this. Stairway to Heaven and my One-Act play are both coming up. I sing with my teacher, with friends, with family and do the same with acting. Despite all that I’ve done, I’m still not that different to that girl learning her basic scales on a harmonium. One of the only things that’s really changed is my practices and habits now as an artist.
Let’s say I get a new piece of theater or music. Honestly, at this point, my habits don’t differ too much. The first thing I do is either listen to the song or watch the piece of theater to see what I’m working with and what I can interpret off it. Secondly, I try to figure out the artist’s intention. I really do believe that you can never really understand and interpret a piece of art unless you know the artist’s purpose. Once I’ve established that I begin experimenting with the piece. I try out the vocal line, or I try some blocking. I experiment to see how far I can push the boundaries of this piece. Once I’ve arrived at a version I’m happy with, I look to others for feedback. From there, I keep practicing until I myself am completely satisfied with my piece.
People are such a big component of what I do. There is no telling the impact a truly good or bad teacher can have on a student. Luckily for me, my experiences have mostly all been positive, which has kept me motivated and learning to make myself a better musician. Besides this, I meet so many amazing people that I collaborate with to make music. I see their passion reflected in me, and mine in them. This is exhilarating for me and makes me continue to work with others.
Beyond all of the work and learning, art is the purest form of expression. Sure, words can be elegant but are only meaningful to those who speak that language. Music, on the other hand, can be essentially universal, especially now, at which point music is such a melting pot of cultures that it applies to anybody. It is amazing to pour your heart and soul into a piece that you truly love, and showcasing it in a performance really is a beautiful thing. The closest path to someone else is to connect with them, and I think that’s what music is: connecting people. Bringing them together to celebrate, to enjoy themselves, to feel emotions as a collective group. Drama is no different.
My journey as an artist has really evolved. I’ve learned so much, I’ve improved so much, and I’m a better person for it. I hope that my musical journey is continued for many, many years to come.